The Divorce Diagnosis* by Thirupathur R Sadasivan Ji to our 'Namblavas' Whatsapp group; shared here as an Archive for future reference of the subject
(When I always try to take up safeguarding the institution of marriage for promotion and well-being, this article I am compelled to share with heavy heart due to the current tendencies in the conjugal relationships)
Not only in my childhood at Chittoor, even during my present days at Hyderabad, women vendors would visit the residential colonies exchanging new vessels for old clothes. I never imagined that one day, even human relationships would be treated like that — old spouses discarded and new ones replaced.
Divorce and remarriage have today become like shopping for a new phone or car. Why do people get divorced? Incompatibility, ego clashes, unclear roles, physical or emotional distance, work stress, in-law issues and lack of privacy in joint families.
But the real cause lies deeper — in forgetting the Dharma that binds marriage. A Hindu marriage is not a social contract but a sacred covenant witnessed by Agni. The three essential rituals, Panigrahana, Saptapadi and Udvaha Homa — are vows made before the gods themselves.
In Panigrahana, the groom holds the bride’s hand promising lifelong companionship and dharmic offspring.
In Saptapadi, the couple takes seven steps as friends, pledging unity, affection, and shared purpose.
Through Udvaha Homa, offerings are made to deities for blessings and witness.
These mantras are not symbolic — they are binding oaths of shared Dharma. Yet many today treat the ceremony as a show, letting the vedic pundit do everything while they themselves remaining spiritually detached.
Marriage, like any responsibility, demands discipline, commitment and awareness of duty. Divorce, then, is not merely a failure of compatibility but a failure of Anustana — the practice of Dharma. When the couples neglect Sandhyavandana, Puja, Vrata or even gratitude, they drift into ego, impatience, and conflict. Dharma gives structure, restraint, and purpose; without it, instinct takes over and relationships collapse.
Thus, the Divorce Diagnosis is clear: A marriage without Dharma is a body without breath. When husband and wife walk the Saptapadi in spirit — as partners in prayer, patience, and piety — even the hardest storms cannot break their bond.
As the Rigveda declares:
“Saṃgacchadhwam saṃvadadhwam — May we move in harmony, speak in one voice, and think in one mind, just as the ancient gods once did.”
Hence, divorces that are happening these days are not social failures but spiritual failures — the breakdown of dharmic awareness that once acted as the spine of human relationships. It frames marital sustainability not as emotional compatibility but as dharmic alignment.
Hence, marriage is not between two individuals — it is a covenant between two souls witnessed by Agni, guided by Rishis, and blessed by Devatas.
That single realization, if re-awakened in society, would indeed cure the disease and make the world a wonderful place to live in.
(Any critical appreciations may be forwarded to my personal window)
