1. Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale........ Cheap....... . .......no strings attached.
2. Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
3. On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The
Relatives.
4. When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...
I Gave Up Reading
5. My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses....
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
6. You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick..
Or when your Son starts To wipe It Off
'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay
In Advance.'
8.. Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her
Way....
9. Behind Every Great Man,There Is A Surprised Woman.
10. The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask too Many
Questions..
11. Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.
13. The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In
The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To
Contact Us.
14. Sign At A Barber's Saloon in Detroit :
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.. 12. Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone
